“In your highest moments, be careful, that’s when the devil comes for you!” Denzel Washington to Will Smith, 94th Oscars, March 27th 2022.
I have been following this Will Smith drama which is unusual for me because I am typically not politically inclined nor am I disposed to keeping up with the entitled imperious Hollywood types that want to pontificate from their podiums of pompousness about their self righteous and otherwise hypocritical opinions and to tell me about what is right and wrong, how I should behave or live my life and what I should believe while they do precisely the opposite. Truthfully I am of the opinion that Hollywood elites are the afterbirth of a botched abortion that is ruining America.
But, because I recognize what’s happening to Will Smith, as a survivor of a toxic relationship, it has triggered me on a very deep level and I feel compelled to speak to this. So, if y’all will indulge me.
1st and most importantly, I feel absolutely horrible for Will Smith and I pray to the grand architect of the universe that Will eventually finds peace in himself.
This is a man who has otherwise led a very decent public life and frankly, a man that has been a positive role model to kids for over 3 decades. Honestly – a good man. In fact he suffers from nice guy syndrome- a syndrome that a toxic person will take advantage of!
What he did Sunday night he owns, yes.. but what we saw was not indicative of a man who is emotionally stable.
Let’s start by defining Will Smith’s problem..
Will Smith’s problem is Jada Pinkett Smith. She is a narcissistic, gaslighting, toxic and cheating whore that has emasculated Will Smith and beat him down so far he is no longer playing with a full deck of cards.
1st, Its important to define “gaslighting” so you understand what it is. “Gaslighting” is a form of manipulation that often occurs in abusive relationships. It is a covert type of emotional abuse where the bully or abuser misleads the target, creating a false narrative and making them question their judgments and reality.
This is a women that manipulated and convinced her husband they needed to be in an open relationship so she could justify her infidelity with another man. What did Will say about it? “Jada never believed in conventional marriage.. Jada had family members that had an unconventional relationship,” Will revealed. “So she grew up in a way that was very different than how I grew up.” (Penguin Press (November 9, 2021). There was that whole Tupac thing where Jada said he was the one she was supposed to marry and has been a deep seeded issue with Will for years.
Will admits to suffering with depression and stated that he has considered suicide. Jada manipulated Will into discussing their private life on her Facebook show “Red Table Talk” with regard to her “entanglement” with August Alsina and you could see the hurt and humiliation in Will in that interview between them. But did she care about her husbands feelings? No – she did this for her own self serving interest to boost the ratings of her show. To be quite frank, Jada Pinkett Smith is a d-lister at best. A nobody that the world would barely know if not for being married to a Hollywood A-lister like Will Smith.
This is not a women that gives a damn about her husband. Not in the recent past and not on Oscar night! Had she had her husband’s best interest at heart… she would have stopped him from putting a black eye on the one night that he would be celebrated by his peers winning his industries highest achievement. But no – instead she let him walk up there; in fact encouraged him to walk up there with her look and ruin his night and the night of all the other awardees and very possibly his career for the time being to satisfy her narcissistic ego. Furthermore, we now know (due to video surfacing late in the week) Jada laughed at Chris Rock after Will slapped him.
Is that even remotely normal for a person to do after some has been viciously assaulted… to laugh at the person assaulted? No it is not, it is the tell tale sign of a very cruel person and speaks volumes to the type of person Jada Pinkett Smith is.
His emotions were all over the place Sunday night. In the space of 1 hour hour Will Smith was laughing at the joke that apparently offended Jada, that is, until Jada gave him the side eye, (that look that says to an abused person, if you don’t do something now there’s gonna be problems with us) then exploding on Chris Rock physically and then verbally attacking him in front of millions upon millions of people and those in attendance to uncontrollably crying and talking about how “love will make you do crazy things”.
Will’s Oscars outburst was tied to his relationship to Jada Pinkett Smith because Will is constantly seeking her approval, which an abuser will never give you, but that the abused will keep trying and trying to get.
Does any of that sound like a man that’s playing with a full deck? I think not! But, that is precisely what happened and the entire world witnessed it. The world saw a man that is an emotional wreck. He even looked like a man that has completely lost it and himself. He looked like a crazy man in that moment.
Unfortunately for Will I recognize the signs of a man who is in a relationship with a narcissistic, gaslighting and toxic abuser that has emasculated him, tore him down and has him doing whatever he must to keep her happy because she has stripped him of his dignity.
This is what abusive men typically do to their wives that leave sane people scratching their heads wondering why she stays with her abuser!
I recognize it because I lived it myself. I was also married to a narcissistic, gaslighting and abusive person for 20 years that knocked me down so far and so hard verbally and physically that I completely lost me.
For years she gaslit me until I believed that everything was my fault. If she screwed up… it was my fault. She tore me down in front of our children and robbed me of the fatherly authority I had disciplining our children. She always put the blame on me for how she felt inside and found me as a close and easy mark. I was fair game for her to berate and belittle to make herself feel better. She wanted all the attention to be on her and about her. She pounded into my head for nearly 20 years that “if I only did what she said, everything would be okay.” I heard that shit daily!
The odd part is I did do everything she said but it was never enough. Nothing I did was ever enough because with abusers… it never will be enough. Abusers keep moving the goal post on the abused for a reason.. so that the abuser can continue to abuse you for failing to meet their standard. Because of the pain I was in due to the abuse I was suffering I withdrew and lost myself in a horrible cocaine addiction and liquor to numb my pain which only exacerbated the ruin of our marriage.
Turns out she grew up in an abusive home herself. Apparently her parents were very hostile and physically and verbally abusive to each other. I’m talking, putting cigarettes out on each other, stabbing each other with forks and knives.. some really bad stuff. And her excuse for being an abusers was always… “I’m just like my mom.” For my ex, fighting, abusive behavior towards those you love, to include your children was simply a normal life for her. Yes, I said towards her children just so you know you read that right because my ex-wife not only abused me, she physically and mentally abused our children. Many times I had to physically restrain her from beating the shit out of our kids.
I on the other hand grew up in a stable family, so this chaotic and abusive relationship was foreign to me, but, I loved her and put her ahead of me to my peril.
Then when she wanted to step away from me, our family and our marriage for another man I lost it. To add insult to injury and to try and drive me over the edge of the cliff that her and her boyfriend did everything they could to terrorize me psychologically. Their stated goal, come to find out, was to cause me such pain mentally that I would kill myself and to those ends, they almost succeeded.
Oh dear lord, if you knew the crazy shit I did! In retrospect I don’t recognize me that half year after my wife threw me out of our home, then two weeks later said she was in love with another man and move him into our home.
In and out of a psychiatric hospital a few times and then eventually trying to kill myself with 30 tamazapan sleeping pills and a 6 pack of beer. The only reason I survived is I didn’t hide myself well enough and my mom found me. I spent a week in a coma. After that I spent the better part of 4 years in therapy twice a week unpacking 20 years of abuse, humiliation and gaslighting trying to get my life back and reclaim me.
In fact, on March 30, 2016, the boyfriend tried to get between me and my son and turn him against me and threatened to kill me since they couldn’t get me to successfully kill myself and I snapped… I walked to my car trying to get away from the situation with him following me, threatening to kill me so I calmly pulled my son’s baseball bat out of my car and started beating him the the head. 20 staples, a broken jaw, ribs and clavicle later, he finally understood that I was not to be messed with. I was charged with attempted murder with a deadly weapon. The only reason I walked was video footage from security camera taped him following me as I walked to my car the distance of a football field and him following me.
An abused spouse gets to a place where they have such little self respect for themself that they will do anything to show the abuser they love them and will stay with their abuser.
It’s very much like the Stockholm Syndrome. It’s not love that makes you do crazy things… it’s being an emotional wreck that makes you do crazy things!
It’s not as common for men to be the abused but you’d be surprised how many of us there are.
So in the end, yes Will Smith owns his mistake but take pity on him and pray for his mental recovery because The devil that’s messed up Will is Jada!
Michael's Comic Book Collection 